They have started in with a new number now (347-697-1454), so the game begins again! Anyone who did not see my last post, here it is again with some creative ideas on how to deal with these idiots:

"OK, first off, everyone CALM DOWN and don’t freak out about these guys. No matter what they say or what they threaten, they CAN’T do anything to you. I know every one of us has tried filing reports with law enforcement, FTC, FBI, ic3, etc. It doesn’t seem to work, because these guys aren’t even in the USA. So take a deep breath, relax and don’t let them ruffle your feathers.

Now, I started getting these calls about a year ago. I have personally used all of the tactics below, and they do stop calling me for about 6 months…so the way I figure it, a little time out of my day to give them back a taste of their own medicine is worth it for 6 months of peace and quiet. Keep in mind, as well, every minute you spend screwing with them on the phone is a minute they are NOT able to scam someone else. (And the only way they will ever stop is if nobody pays them any money ever again!) And now for the fun part—how to screw with them back. I will start with the easiest and move up the line with the more time consuming:

If you have no time to mess with them:
a. Just don’t pick up the line. Let it go to voicemail and delete the message.
b. Pick up the line and immediately hang up. Keep doing it until they stop.
c. Pick up the line and use an air horn or police whistle blown straight into the mouthpiece of the phone. (I personally like the canned airhorn the best.)
d. If they call while you are driving, turn the radio up as loud as possible and answer the line on speakerphone. Don’t say anything, just let them listen to the blasting music. Heavy metal music works best, but I personally have a CD with Star Spangled Banner on it, so I play that as loud as I can. Just leave the line open with the music blasting until they hang up.

If you have a little more time to mess with them:
a. Ask if they are related to the deceased (insert your name here as the “deceased”) or just a family friend, because “the viewing of the body if for family only, but the memorial service is open to everyone.” Ask if they would like directions to the funeral.
b. Simply tell them that you have read all about their scam on the internet & seen it on the news on TV, so you aren’t paying anything. Don’t listen to any response, just hang up on them after saying this.
c. Use this one only if you are willing to be as crude as they are: Using the name they gave you (i.e., “Officer Mike Taylor” was the last one I got), say, “Is the this THE Officer Mike Taylor I read about on the internet? Is it true what the posts online say, that you have such a small d**k that even camels won’t have sex with you?” Then hang up on them.
d. (For this one, I must first apologize to PETA and all vegans, but it highly offends the scammers because they consider cows to be divine beings.) Tell them you don’t have time to speak with them, because you work at a slaughter house and you have over 100 cattle you need to “kill off” before the end off the day. Then hang up on them.
e. Are you good with theatrics? Then try this one…it was actually highly effective for me: Put on your deepest, scariest, growliest voice and just whisper into the phone over and over, “I command the demons to come for you, I command the demons to come for you, I command the demons to come for you…”. Just keep whispering it over and over until they hang up. I think this one worked well because they are quite superstitious.
f. If you know a foreign language, answer the phone in it and just keep talking in unintelligible phrases. The more obscure the language, the better. Don’t know a foreign language? Pig Latin seems to work just as effectively.
g. Ask if they are calling from the convenience store, and can they give you last night’s winning lottery numbers, because you are sure you have won. For any response they give to it, just keep yelling over and over, “I won! I won!”
h. When you answer the phone, ask them where your pizza is and tell them because they didn’t get it to you in the “30 minutes”, you’re not paying for it. Hang up.
i. Tell them you are at work right now, but to call you back on your “home” phone, and give them this number: 202-835-0778. (This is the scam and fraud reporting division number at the FBI.) Hang up.

If you are REALLY p***ed off, and have plenty of time to screw with them:

a. Go on to Craig’s List and post an ad in the wanted section or services section saying you are looking for a payday loan company because you need a loan. Ask they call you right away. List the scammer’s name and phone number as the contact information. (This sends the scum-sucking bottom feeders off to call the other scum sucking bottom feeders…LOL)
b. Go online and look for every free daily horoscope, free insurance quote, free mortgage lending, etc., and click on the “have an agent contact me” link. Type in the scammer’s name and phone number. Viola! Now they will get flooded with telemarketers as well.
c. If you would like to blow off steam, and have no problem with swearing, just keep calling them over and over pretending you have Tourette’s Syndrome by just screaming obscenities in the phone until they hang up. This works pretty good in the car, because no one else can hear you and it is a good tension reliever.
d. Log onto these payday loan sites and enter all of the scammers’ information on it. This way they might even wind up on their own list!
e. (Do NOT attempt this one unless you have state of the art spyware & virus protection, and even then, you still are taking a risk): Go into your spam folder on your computer. Find every email you can about “you won millions of dollars” or “the Nigerian lottery” or something to that effect. Send it back with all of the scammers’ contact information.
f. Research for the phone numbers to both local and national TV news stations “breaking news desk”. Again, tell the scammer on the phone to call you at your “work number” and give the number to the news station’s phone number. (Hopefully, if the news stations get enough of these calls, they will start airing more stories about it, reaching more people and reduce the number of victims that fall for this.)

Again, before sending money to ANYONE, stop. Think. Do you have any paperwork showing you owe money? If not, ask for paperwork. If they refuse to send it, they are scammers. A real collection agency will always: 1. provide paperwork; 2. never yell or cuss at you; 3. never require you to pay first before receiving paperwork; 4. never identify themselves as an officer of law enforcement; 5. never threaten you with jail, arrest or physical harm.

Good luck everyone, and if you need any help or suggestions, feel free to email me at [email protected]."