A heroic act has taken place in Fresno, California. Despite the long weeks of walking and the blisters & sprained hind legs as a result, despite the many days when he had to go without food or water, despite the arduous weathers of burning heat, forceful wind, or chilly rain, and despite the many fights he suffered through from territorial dogs, 3-year-old pitbull Patrick finally found his ex-owner in Fresno, California, and attacked him. Travelling from Buffalo, NY to the mentioned destination, which is a whopping 3, 000 miles (give or take) Patrick had his eyes on the prize: a bite or two on the leg of that dumbf*ck who left him stranded in that tree park so he can fulfill the request of that other dumbf*ck that is his life partner.

"And I'll you, that whole event was NOT easy to accomplish, " Patrick the Pitbull stated after licking the last bit of his ex-owner's blood off his nose. "I mean, I simply thought it was going to be easy-peasy: just a walk to Fresno, a quick nibble or two in that jack*ss's nuts, and walk back, no problem. But as you can see, I was wrong. I did not take into account the possible changes of weather, the lack of quality of food to eat- if I was even lucky to find a piece of bagel here or a rotten apple there- I forgot that there were dogs out here that were ready to kill and take what you have as soon as your back was turned, and the WALK itself! I mean, whoo, talk about a Triathlon! I think I did enough walking, running away from obvious alpha fe/males- yes, there were actual alpha FEMALES- and trotting from a bad hind leg to raise money to find cures for all of the uncurable diseases!" After pausing to sniff the behind of a toy poodle, Patrick added, "But, you know, it was worth it. I mean, the look on Florence's (the ex-owner) face was priceless! He opened the door after I rang the doorbell, and after looking for a human around his height, he finds me, up to his knees, and as soon as recognition hits his pugly face, that's when I attacked him. Oh, and the way he was continuously crying 'Patrick, it's me! Patrick, buddy, it's me, Florence!' I was like, 'Yeah, b*tch, I know it's you, the *sshole that tied me to a tree and left me to starve and die in that park! Why'dya think I'm biting the sh*t outta ya, huh, you dumbf*ck?!' And his stupid life partner was just standing there, with that McKully Culken look on his face, and I'm thinking, 'You left me to die becauseof that wimpy loser?! Aw, now I'm REALLY gonna hurt you!' And I did. You know, Florence did taste pretty good."
When asked about the life partner, Patrick simply replied, "I'll get him, don't you worry." And he went back to yiffing that particular toy poodle with triumph.