Wow. For the umpteenth time I experience this cold, impersonal, condescending service. No smile, no friendly greeting or treatment.

Speaking to you like you have the IQ of a retard as you CAN get your card from THIS queue, even though it's not marked.

Would have thought this would be easier. I have been to my branch THREE TIMES in the last year to change my one time password (good thing i use my other bank for most of my e-banking). Anyway I tried again last week, at which stage I was told my new number was only lodged with my branch, but not with my internet banking profile (whatever). Anyway I made a call to the internet banking call centre from inside the bank. I was told that my one time password would be sent to my email address(after which I could change it to my cell number). Great.

A few hours later I received a phonecall (which I had not been informed about) asking for personal details, which I refused to answer. I was then told that my profile would not be updated. I tried to phone the bank back but was put on permanent hold.

Since I was already told that my details would be updated, I assumed that the second call was a mix-up. When I next logged into internet banking I fount that my profile WAS STILL NOT UPDATED. And since it was after hours and there was no-one to phone, I couldn't do anything except log into my other bank.

This bank has wasted a lot of my time. STAY AWAY.

This is the third complain and still no answers. If you phone Baby, she covers for Lynette. Lynette always say I'll come back to you. She never does. If you phone the switchboard they don't answer. If you ask who the manager is at any other number they put you through to Baby. Baby is always rude, never does what she promise. After 6 months I am still struggling to get two machines transferred to the new owners. I was threatened to be handed over to Credit bureau and lawyer. No apologies, no compensation for all my calls. More than 50. Baby just don't listen, she blames the bank MD and system and uses Lynette to confront me as the client telling everybody that I sore at her and that I treated her bad. When Baby ran out of excuses she refused to help me further, saying the account is in my wife's name and that she will not help me further. I explained that I am also an owner of the business and my wife gave me proxy and that she sent them an email permitting me to speak on her behalf. Baby just said she will not take any nonsense from me and that she will get someone else to phone me. She specifically mentioned that I MUST be to Mark and I am not allowed to jump over his head.

Why is it that a Standard Bank cheque paid into a Standard Bank account takes 10 days (as I was very rudely told) to clear. The cheque was actually cleared the same day and is showing in my account, but is not available for withdrawal. I remember the bad old days before computers, and service then was far more efficient than it is today. Obviously Standard Bank is just out to fleece customers by hanging onto their money for as long as possible so that they get the interest as well as inflated administration fees for their 'services'.

I had a illegal transaction from Iburst on my account, send a secure message no responce, phone the bank no consultant available to assist me with fraudulent transaction. The secure message does not even show on the reports.

What is wrong surely the bank must be able to assist if you have a problem. The bank are eager to take charges on your account, but is not willing to assist you with a fraud on your account.

I do not get a lunch time so I can not go to the bank, though the secure message will work but to my surprice it does not work.