Customers are horrible. Really? You're mad at me because your coupon is expired? Really? You're mad because your ad came early and the sale prices and coupons aren't valid yet? Did everyone forget how to read and function? The free gifts are out of stock...FUCK YOU. It's free.

People are incredibly stupid and unaware. If you talk to us like we are stupid and worthless, you're lucky as a man with one ball if you get anything close to decent customer service.

Don't get mad when a store doesn't have something, asshole. It isn't their fault. It's most likely their distribution's fault orrrrrrr the brand's fault! Do you ever think about the awful stuff we have to put up with? You're just pissed because your husband doesn't touch you or your kids hate you or because Mary Beth Smith won the best apple pie award. Don't get mad becuase we won't give you a coupon. It doesn't make a dent in your $300 purchase, missy.

I love all of the good customers. The fun customers. The understanding, thoughtful customers.

I know their are bad employees, but there are some pretty fucking awesome ones too, bitches. Think about that the next time Phyllis stands you up for bridge and crumpets.