I had a strange encounter with U.S. District Judge Henry Hudson that I must relate here.

I was driving down the I-95, trying to get as far away from home as possible. I use the word "home" as if the place even existed anymore. It didn't. What I had called a home was nothing more than an idea in my head of something that used to exist. Or maybe it never really existed at all. Maybe the entire time I thought I had a home it was little more than a delusion.

I should be clearer here. I had a place to live. And I had a family. And I thought I had put things together nicely. But I couldn't manage it all, in the end. I know that it's all my fault. You know, she told me that she had to leave. It wasn't an option. She had to go and take the rest of them with her. "You're not the kind of person who can do this, " she told me.

"I knew that from the start, " I told her. "I mean, I didn't believe it. I tried. I honestly tried."

"I know you tried, " she said. "But look at you know. You're exhausted. You can't keep this up."

"I know I can't, " I said.

In any event, I pulled into a motel somewhere past Pennsylvania. I can't even remember the name of the place. You go through so many different states at that point in the trip. I wanted to make it all the way down to Florida in one go. But I was getting so tired.

The motel was on a little rise right off the freeway, so you could watch all the traffic rush back and forth all night if you wanted. And there was a little bar next to the lobby where you had a nice view of the action. So I went to my room and unpacked some things, and then I went back down to that bar hoping I could forget my problems for a while. I could take a few hours and unburden myself. I deserved at least that much.

I took my drink and sat down at a table by a window. I watched all those vehicles pass back and forth along the massive strips of road down at the bottom of the rise. I thought about what it would be like to trade places with one of them for a day or two. Any one of them would do. Of course I had little to offer anyone who would even consider such a deal. Perhaps I could track down some adventurous spirit who would be curious to know what I was going through. What it was like to lose yourself so thoroughly in your terrible thoughts that you forgot to pay attention to what was really going on in front of you.

About an hour into this routine a man came up and loomed over me. He was an imposing figure, and I thought for a moment that I was in some real trouble. You know, you stop at these little motels off of the highway and you never know what's going to happen. "May I join you?" he asked, offering the hint of a smile.

"I suppose I don't have any choice in the matter, " I said to him.

He laughed at that. "You don't exactly mince words, do you?" he said.

"It's a problem I have, " I told him. "Please don't take offence."

The man sat down across from me, taking his time to do so. "I understand, " he told me. "It's that kind of a world, isn't it? You either say what you men or you don't."

"I want to be nicer to people, but I can't seem to manage it, " I told him.

"Why even bother?" he said, and then he stuck out a big mitt of a hand. "Henry Hudson, " he told me.

I shook hands, but I didn't reveal my own name. "Like the explorer, " I said.

"That's it, " Henry said, looking pleased. "I get that all the time."

"You didn't have to tell me that, " I told him. "Of course you get that all the time."

"You're travelling alone, " Henry said.

"So are you, " I told him.

"I got called out on business, " he said. "I'm from around here. I know that you're not, though. I saw your plates on the way in."

"Maybe you got the wrong car, " I said.

"I saw you park and get out, " he told me. "I was right behind you."

I signalled to the bartender for another drink. "I'm not sure if I like the idea of someone watching my actions so closely, " I told him.

"It wasn't intentional, " Henry told me. "I happened to pull in here right after you. It's merely a coincidence."

"Then why are you over here now, talking to me?" I asked him.

"I thought you could use the company, " he said.

"That's what people always say, " I told him. "But they really mean something else."

Henry took a moment before answering. He looked out towards the interstate. There were fewer cars on the road now. Most sensible people had pulled in somewhere for the night. The trucks were still out there, of course. They ran at all hours.

"I had a case today, " Henry told me. "I had several to deal with. But there was one in particular."

"So you had to get out of town, " I said. "Get away from things."

"It was a tough one, " he told me. "One of the defendants, he was a young man. Maybe about your age. You all are young to a fellow like me."

"I don't feel young, " I told him.

"You are, " Henry said. "But this individual, he looked like he'd been through the wringer. He was all beat up with bruises all over his face. And I told his lawyer to tell me what happened to him. I brought him up to the bench, you understand. I called him up and said, 'What happened to your client?' And you know what he said to me? He said, 'I didn't ask.'"

"He didn't ask, " I said.

"It's not the fact that he didn't ask, " Henry went on. "Well, it is that. That is the problem. But he even had the gall to tell me that. That's what bothered me the most. He told me that he had no interest in figuring out why his client was in such bad shape. You know, I almost walked away from the case right then and there. I almost got up off the bench and left."

"But you didn't do that, did you?" I said.

Henry sighed. "I stayed and did what they pay me to do, " he said. "That's the way it is, isn't it?"

"That's always the way it is, " I told him. "Whatever you're doing, that's the way it is."